Yesterday, I was planning to write my remembrances of the day Bobby Kennedy was murdered.  I thought, no, I’ll wait a day until all the nice things are said, and talk about my own feelings that early, early morning sitting on the side of my bed watching TV as it happened, so many years ago.

I’ll still write it.  However, today I’m watching about someone else having left us.  Anthony Bourdain – a guy I’ve watched and followed; read about; all these years.  I admired him. I admired his honesty, his openness, and his caring about others.  To me, he had a real handle on what the world is like.  Maybe that’s why he left.

But he left behind a message.  So have others who have committed Suicide…and we damn well better listen.

There will be some who not only won’t listen, but they’ll get behind their computers, and – using their anonymous and brave keyboards – they’ll spout off about how these people should have gotten help, they had money, they this, they that.  Well, the fact is this:  if you are spewing non-sense and holier-than-thou crap from behind the anonymity of a computer screen,

You are one of those afflicted with some form of Mental Illness.

There is precious little help for anyone who is mentally disturbed/challenged/ill/hurting.  We’d rather jail them, it seems.  After all, the Prison-Industrial complex has stated clearly that in order to make a profit and stay in business, they have to have more than 90% of their beds filled, yes?  So, we certainly accommodate them.  Something stinks.

Stars like Tony Bourdain and Kate Spade and others who have left us this way get looked at either with sympathy or disdain.  Empathy appears to have left us – at least in the Western World.  It’s all I can speak to.  Severely Religious folks and some others believe that committing Suicide is a ‘Sin.’  Maybe they’ll ‘burn in hell.’ Yeah right.  Save that judgement for your Selves, please.

What I do believe is that we are all Spirits in human experience, expressing an Experience of God/Life/Universe.  You don’t need to believe that – after all, it’s my belief, not yours.  But just like our children dying all the time across the world – from Poverty, Neglect, War, and more – they are sending us a message and we are not listening.  So many claim Religion, yet turn away from the ‘hard’ problems; blame it on ‘others;’ and go to church/synagogue/mosque/wherever and thank our gods that it’s not us.

But, it is us.  The everyday person has more pressures now than ever.

Now, support systems of all and every kind are being ripped away from the fabric of a political system that used to, at least, provide some semblance of well-being to its citizens at the most basic level.  Support is being taken away from those already promised it and trying to live on it.  Mental Health assistance is virtually non-existent.  Medical care is being dismantled – even as it wasn’t the best, unless you have a lot of money, then it is.  The United States is one of the worst in the Western ‘developed’ world at caring for its citizens.

Yet, we are so completely and adeptly spun that we believe otherwise.

Tony Bourdain’s shows showed Reality.  He, more and more, addressed issues of the Everyday Person around the world, through food…culture.

I’ll miss you, Tony.  I hope we listen…

Blue

 

 

Mind and Passion…

The Parents of all who live Life fully; creatively; on their own terms, as much as they are able.

I have always seen you that way, querido…

Passion controlled
Is still Passion

Mind constantly learning
Is Passion’s Breath

Breathe me in;
Loosen control

The Dance of Mind and Passion
Is hot, slow
And sweet

Feel the Rhythm
Hear the Beat

Shall we dance?

The Music that is us, beckons.

Blue

that, perhaps, we can use once in a while.

No one can hold it together forever.

Sometimes the small things take more inhales and exhales than the big ones;

And we all experience it.

So just passing along a mantra for if and when you might need it, queridos.

Blue xo

Sitting out here on my front porch (I have three), listening to the life in the many trees sing their morning greetings to me – and me giving it my utmost to translate and connect back with a greeting they can, perhaps, take back to their language and understand – I am reminded how much singing…music…and language are intertwined.

The music and song…the rhythms of a language…speak to my spirit in a way that makes me smile. It is a deep connection that brings culture and history into the present

To celebrate…to speak to those who will listen…of a time ago; of ‘then’

That brings us ‘now.’

Alfred Arteaga – in his magnificent use of English, Náuahtl, and Chicano, was one who understood this. The Náuahtl language brought me a beautiful glimpse of their culture

Flower Song = Poem

Yes.

The joy it brings me to be able to move from Spanish to Russian, then Spanish to German; and amazingly, continuing learning Mandarin, but now from Spanish instead of English! It’s like a bit of a mind-bending puzzle, but oh-so-cool!

In whatever language you sing, queridos, enjoy.

Blue

Good morning, queridos. 🦋

Y’know, we have been spun/propagandized to believe we are separate, one from the other; but we are not. It is a fallacy of the worst kind; perpetuated by the Forces of Separation using Fear of ‘the other’ as a tool.

We are so much more than that.

Last night in Georgia, a woman – Stacey Abrams – won the Democratic Primary. She also happens to have more melanin in her skin. I voted for her and I have an idea that I truly believe can work. I shared it on my FB page and I share it with you. Let me know your reasoned thoughts, yes, please? Thanks 🦋 As always, hate speech will be deleted (my blog my choice) and thank you for honoring that.

*****

PAIRING FOR PROGRESS

Now – we ALL need to work even HARDER to ensure she’s elected. Getting everyone registered…especially the Young. Make them see the importance of the election.

We could start a campaign to combine registering them the younger ones and task them with helping an elder get to the polls. The Elder may be able to share info and history with the young, even as the young one may be providing listening and assistance.

Pairing for Progress! Linkage is continuity is Winning.

Yep

From a CNN article this morning: “Her ability to appeal to both progressives and minority voters and Georgia’s status as a Super Tuesday state in the presidential primary and an emerging swing state in general elections means national names are likely to flock to Georgia to campaign for Abrams.”

There is Music here in the morning. My front porch holds the upfront seats to the symphony of the birds and other critters that, using the trees as their home, coexist with me.

A lizard family that has called the depths of the woodpile outside the screened porch to the side of the house home lo these many years, scurry about in a proprietary way, paying me no mind. They know I won’t hurt them.

Three huge rabbits, maybe more, stop and observe. The other critters have told them I’m cool, but they are new this year…and skittish.

Another gray day here, and rain most likely, again, in the late afternoon; and I don’t mind at all. I love the rain. Ah…the scent of my gardenia bushes arrives on a gentle playing of the wind in the key of C…a soft jazz piece, I think.

Not thinking though…just feeling the morning…and enjoying its music. There’ll be time enough later to integrate with the world ‘out there.’

In this moment…coffee beside me; the Silence the background player for Earth’s music…I smile. I am blessed.

Blue

There are several writers whom I love. One of them is Jorge Luis Borges.

Hay varios escritores a los que amo. Jorge Luis Borges es uno de estos.

He was – and is – a challenge to comprehend. But he is worth taking the time to discover his works, and his life. What a life. And doesn’t every writer have at least some part of Life that is brought to the story?

Él era, y es, un desafío para comprender. Pero vale la pena tomar el tiempo descubrir sus obras y su vida. Qué vida. ¿Y no tiene cada escritor a lo menos algún parte de su vida que traiga al cuento?

.

There is no White
There is no Black
There is no Brown
There is no Red
There is no Yellow.

THIS is a construct…carefully erected over time
The mortar used is Myth

Ethnicity re-established means what was forcibly taken from so many for Control Over, can be found.
This one Construct alone should make you realize just how easily spun We the People can be.

Your amino-acided-melanin-infused color belongs on a Chart

Just like your hair or your eyes.
Our biggest challenge as a people is fear-based
It’s why we don’t scrape the Dark off the Looking Glass

Because if we see clearly, then we have to address the Lies
The Constructs
And the reasons why.
Then we have to look at each other and see What Really Is.
And work from there.

Fear serves nothing, but it sells.
Fear helps nothing, but it spins the construct, hardening it like cement.
Deconstruction Time. Get your hammer.
There is no White
There is no Black
There is no Brown
There is no Red
There is now Yellow

I am Peachy Beige, with Blue Eyes. Yep. That’s Reality.

Mike and I worked together in the Call Center.

I was one of his supervisors, amongst several – and we all loved him.

Mike H. was a veteran who had lost a leg in the rotten Vietnam War (I say ‘rotten’ as a euphemism.  Forty years on from the war, the perpetrators of the war – especially Robert McNamara – who all made money from it, said in his book, “I’m sorry.  We lied.  Sorry your loved ones died.”  I’m paraphrasing just a bit, but the truth is in those words.  He had ‘apologized.’)

Mike played baseball – really well!  You should have seen him round those bases!  He loved sports!  Some he could no longer play, but in what he could play, he excelled.

Mike was a decent man as well.  If he could help someone he would – didn’t even have to really know them. He was great with the folks calling  in for road service on their vehicles, as well.  No one ever seemed to rattle him – even the jerks.  There were challenges though, personally. In addition to the physical scars, he had PTSD.

One of the challenges was that he had a little girl who lived with his ex-wife in another state, so he rarely saw her; and it bothered him.  He talked with her as much as he could, and sent her as much money as he could, given that living in California is really expensive. He kept pictures of her on the wall of his cubicle.  You could feel the blend of happiness, love, and sadness. Sometimes he’d cry; a silent sob, tears streaming down his handsome face.

Mike lived with an inner sadness, though – and not just about his child.  The war had changed him.  He knew it, and tried hard to work it through.  The doctors at the VA – good people, mostly – were overworked, and held to the confines and dictates of the political class and their appointees over the system that was charged with helping him and so many others.  Sometimes he felt it was quite pointless to even go.  PTSD was, then, akin to what ‘malingering’ was in the World War I my husband’s dad was in.

The war never left my husband’s dad.  It never left my father, either.  A decorated World War II veteran, he saw two of his best buddies blown apart before his eyes, missing him only because he had moved just moments before to relieve himself quickly.  War never leaves anyone.  But Mike tried hard to send those feelings packing.

Trying hard doesn’t always cut it, though; even when you fall in love.  Mike was extra happy these days.  He was training youngsters in baseball; work was good; and he had a new love – a divorcee who seemed to be the perfect fit for him.  He spoke about how vulnerable she was after her divorce; how intelligent she was; and how she could tell what people were like almost instantly.  She gave him something he had been missing…companionship…love…laughter…value.  They had fun together.  She told him she loved him and wanted them to get married – an idea that was already forming in Mike’s head and heart – and when he realized she loved him the same way, he was ecstatic.  I had never seen him so happy and so animated.  He had a future that looked grand, and the dark days of Vietnam seemed to be fading from his shadows.

But War remains; always lurking in the shadows, waiting…with its mental weapon cocked, to pull its emotional trigger…and the trigger was pulled one Friday evening in Spring.

Baseball was just starting up again.  Wedding plans were being made; and Mike and his fiancée were looking at places to live – together.  We talked about his plans, as he was preparing to leave work that Friday.  I hugged him and let him know I couldn’t be happier for him and to make sure I got an invitation to the wedding!  He laughed, reassured me jokingly, and beat feet to pick her up.

Mike arrived to pick her up, but they never went anywhere.  In the middle of all this happiness, the shadows arose.  Sitting down, she told him that, yes, she loved him; but, she was going back to her ex-husband, whom she loved as well.  He wanted to try again, and she believed him.  She just wanted to give it one more shot, Mike, just to be sure. If it didn’t work, then…Mike left.  He called several of us to tell us he wouldn’t be at work the next day; that he would be going back to her house tomorrow and gathering up all his belongings he had there, including all his stuff he had stored there from Vietnam…scrapbooks, tags, odds and ends, and a couple of weapons. We were all concerned.  Mike didn’t sound himself…and he talked about how he should have re-enlisted; gone back; that he wasn’t worth much to any woman, with his body shot up like it was.  He was only good for war. We reminded him of what a good man he truly was, and everything he did for others – especially the kids – and that his daughter would miss him if he went away.  A couple of the guys offered to go get the stuff, or at least go with him.  He hugged them, but declined. I asked him to call me in the morning, to let me know how he was doing, and if he needed someone, he had all our phone numbers.  He agreed, told me how grateful he was, and hung up in my ear.

As you must have figured out by now, the story does not end well.  Mike never called. We tried calling him repeatedly to no avail.  Finally, one of us found the number to Mike’s now ex-fiancée.  Someone else picked up the phone. It was the police.  Mike had gone to her house to make a plea for her to change her mind.  She didn’t.  He apologized for being less of a man after coming back from the War and he’d get his things and be out of her life. He went into the bedroom, took his gun, and blew his brains out.

War was the murderer…the political class a co-conspirator.  Mike H. was a sweet, gentle man; but the War wanted his life, and it finally got it.

I love you, Mike. Veterans deserve so much better. This is simply a synopsis of what happened.  Those who don’t serve, send others’ loved ones to fight and die for their wet dreams of power and control.  Democracy, my left foot.

Fuck War.

I do not understand why national anthems are played at every, single, sporting event (in Soccer, it’s only done at World Cup matches – except here – because they’re playing at a country level.) 

It began as an accidental thing in the 7th inning stretch of a baseball game. Unlike “God bless America, ” or “America the Beautiful, the one we use is depressingly difficult to sing – and here’s where the music came from:
Making this even more interesting is the fact that “The Star-Spangled Banner” – which borrowed its difficult melody from a “To Anacreon in Heaven,” a British song about boozing and womanizing – wasn’t adopted as the official national anthem of the U.S. until 1931. (Source: Chicago Tribune.)
Now, before any of you anonymous pseudo-patriotic, nationalist fascist “you’ll do it our way or else you’re un-American” typing furiously behind your red, white & blue computers have your head explode with self-righteous indignation, hold onto your brain cell.
What has sports got to do with the anthem? Sports is just that. The two got mixed because when that accident happen (during the First World War) it was noted and used by the war marketers as an opportunity in front of such large crowds, to push hyper-nationalism and hyper-patriotism by tying it to Sporting events, where masses of men gathered and could be persuaded to join up.
And soon the two became one.

It’s time for a divorce. One has nothing to do with the other, and with all the hate being spewed by the anonymous brave online, who threaten from the safety of being behind their computer screen, to saying some of the most revealingly inane comments, suggesting that our first amendment rights only belong to them and set their own obviously wise limits to who can do what under that amendment, it just makes sense.

And as we lounge in front of our TVs, drinking beer and doing whatever else (farting, scratching, belching and guffawing over how cool that last fart was, bro, eh?) while the anthem comes to a close on the tube and no one ever thinks of getting up (apparently, reverence is limited to only a  stadium), it seems just a wee bit odd and warped. 

The most effective way to honor our vets? Read my last post. Take that anger over a hard-to-sing song and actually do something to get our veterans the help they need. Talk is cheap (especially anonymously) – walk the walk, unless your legs are broken. Vets need your real help, not outrage over anthems and sports. 

From the porch, blessings and belly laughs. 💕💕